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Gone Away

One year has passed
An old life has broken away
Golden ring rests on the wrong hand
A fatal reminder of what has gone away

Another year gone
And still the memories remains
Of a love so true
A beautiful reminder of what has gone away

Washed away one more year
The dreams still remain
Of a prince charming
A whimisical reminder of what has gone away

The final year has passed
A love so true doesnt remain
A broken heart beats faintly
A dark reminder of what has gone away.

A Hard Place To Be

The Hardest Place To Be

Stuck between a rock and hard place
Between the two faces
That seem to lie next to me
Why is it so hard to see
When the sun is out
To be what I am really all about
I know I love him
And we are so close to sin
But could careless
While we cherish each caress.
I am with another
Who loves me more than anything, but feels like a brother
When he kisses me
All I can see is what I want him to be
But he will never be what I love and desire
The hot passion that I perspire
When I am in the arms of my true lover
The one I hold above like no other.

If I Woke Up Next To You

To Each of You

To Brittani,
you are my best friend
who can never be replaced
with your sweet smile
and crazy sense of humor
mood swings
and all the times you stopped talking to me
I miss you
I miss the days spent
on my porch talking about life
or sitting in my kitchen
coloring my hair
I love you
Eveything we've done or said
I miss

To Krystal,
I know we've had our rough times
I was rude and
we both said mean things
but that has passed
I miss the times we've shared
a good party always lasts-at least the memories
I miss your crazy wild attitude
adn the night of my birthday
Your crazy ass and
Tattoos and piercings
I miss you

To Holly,
Skipping class, crazy mornings
loud music, strange conversations
I miss you
and your laughter
all of the good times we've had
Dances and sociology
Green cars and energy drinks
I miss you slut pouch

To Kalie,
Laughter, wild hair
Drama, leaving class
Pepsi and cake
Dances and dreams
THese are times i think of you
Tons of myspace bulletins
and xanga
I miss you too.

To Roland,
Black trucks
Kisses behind and abandoned house
Creepy old man following us
Creative writing
Night at the museum
Kissing in the rain
Laughter and agreement on everything
I miss you

To Lindsay
Penis, Sex, journalism
Bowling, meetings
Lord of the Rings
Twister, Sorry, and Uno
Lunches and Karokee
I miss you

To Heather,
Marketing sucide
Journalism
T-Bo and APE
Cready & Pickens
Huckleberry Finn & Shakespeare
I miss you

To Chris
Cocaine (Thank you for it)
Women's lit
Darts and times at my house
Graduation and long talks
I miss you

To Paul,
Journalism, music
Videos and off the wall talk
Paul newman, stealing
I miss you

To Steve,
Marketing, Pickens
Journalism, music
Long talks, hugs
I miss you

To Jon,
Bob Dylan, guitars
Brighteyes, Journalism,
Talking, individualism
I miss you

To Resa,
Crazy child, Ghost Rider
Laughter, writing, reading
Library, Mrs. Noll
I miss you

To Elise,
Stealng Cabs, monkey boy
College, English
Sarcasm
I miss you

To Sarah
Coffee
Graduation
I miss you

To Tina,
Crazy girl
Funny
Laughter
I miss you

I miss each and everyone of you
I know there are so many more
I've forgotten
I am getting homesick
I miss the times we've had
I can't wait to see you
Even though I dont knwo when it will be
Until then know this:

I love you
I miss you
all very very much

The Fifth Of November

Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent.

Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot..."

Stupid Love

Fools in that are in love...

Are blind....

And I was the blindest of them all....

How cruel can the world be....

How far can we fall before break our own hearts....

Trust is the most fragile ornament...

Broken so easily...

Once repaired....

Will never be the same again....

How many mistakes do we have to go through....

In order to learn our lessons...

Thanks for reteaching me....

All about trust....

All about love....

Thanks for refreshing my memory....

On pain....

On heartbreak...

Fools in love are not blind...

Only hopeful

And stupid.

Broken Prayer---Whole Hope

My mind is weighted
Can you tell?
I walk along the beach
Alone at night
Wrapping my arms around myself
I feel nearer to you
Then I've ever felt
Closing my eyes
The stars have never shined brighter
A thousand diamonds on my mind
None on my hand
But all that doesnt matter
Not now; not anymore
I've learned how to stand on my own
I can see so much better
The sky has never been clearer
A smile has been sprinkled across my jaded lips
The cool air blows through my tangled hair
Shards of paper rest in the center of a clenched fist
A broken smile
A fractured face
Yours;
Resting in the palm of my hand
What a strange twist
For so long I was in your hands
Now your in mine
But not for long.

Thanks To The Good Witches

Thanks to the Good Witches

I'm too old to believe in fairy tales

Love hasn't worked out too well

I once had a prince to lift my veil

But with a magic spell

it all disappeared-my love has sailed-

With that magic wand I could have changed a whole lot

Now look at what I've got

{Chorus}

No Fairy Tale

Or Prince to lift my veil

Oh well, oh well.

Right now I just wanna--

Wanna ride my white horse into the sun

And rejoice in how far I've come

Rags to riches

Thanks to the good witches

No strings to tie me down

Or worried frowns

No more wedding gowns

No fairy tale

Oh well, oh well, oh well

My Prince ran off with Cinderella

And left alone was her other fella

Cinderella off with her prince

We haven't seen them since

Riding off into the sunset

Who could ever forget

That beautiful romance

That started with a single dance

Where's my fairy tale?

Where's that prince with the dark eyes

And a smile that shines

Where's my prince to ride me off into the sunset?

Fairy tales aren't for me

There isn't a prince beyond that hill

Or anywhere I can see

After my book closed I was left to foot the bill

{Chorus} No Fairy Tale

Or Prince to lift my veil

Oh well, oh well.

Right now I just wanna--

Wanna ride my white horse into the sun

And rejoice in how far I've come

Rags to riches

Thanks to the good witches

No strings to tie me down

Or worried frowns

No more wedding gowns

No fairy tale

Oh well, oh well, oh well

Rags to riches

Thanks to the good witches

Here's to you

Raise your wands and do what you do

Rags to riches

Thanks to the dumb bitches

That broke my heart

And tore me apart

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A Change Of Pace

I sit here
With only a few childish fears
Lonely and disgraced
Needing a change of pace
Something to quicken the heart
A new life to grow and start
Love on the air
My fingers through his hair
Wrapped tight in his embrace
Lips to face
So warm in this night
Basking in the dim light
Wanting it to never end
But wishing we never let it begin
Seperated by the pain of years,
Held together by tears
Knowing what we need
But somewhere else must plant the seed
We cant belong to one another
Even though we love each other
Too many things break us apart
But I no longer worry about my heart
In your arms I'll stay
Until you tell me to go away.

A Tattoo...Not-So-Temporary

A Tattoo...Not-So-Temporary

On my right hand
A wedding band
A joy and a curse
Of the one I loved first
None will compare
To the love we shared
Together we went fast
Afraid of how short it would last
The warmth of your embrace
The shadows across your face
Still haunts my dreams
And it may seem
That you're still here
All my fears will disappear
But I lie alone at night
Battling this fright
No one will enter my heart
I stop it before it starts
Fearful of what it might cost
I can't stand another loss
I'm not ready for another
So I treat them like every other
No hopes shared in lust
No love is a must

Fairy Tale Prince

The way you stand
Tall and proud in those jeans
And your attitude
Your as open as a book

If turn the page
There you'll be
A fairy tale prince
Dark and handsome

So full of romantic fantasies
Flowers and white horses
Of making love
And making plans

Butterflies in my stomach
Clouds around my head
Ring on my finger
Happiest I've ever been

Dreams of forever
Holding on until the end
Bed every night
In each other's arms

Warm embrace
Beautiful face
It was just a fairy tale
A dream that wasn't real

A Lot Like Love

I was talking to a friend of mine about love and I found this website and I think it sums love up pretty well and plus it uses one of my favorite quotes:


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.

Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'

We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.

The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.

If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.


LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh.
It makes us sing.
It makes us sad.
It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why.
It makes us take.
It makes us give.
Above all else it makes us LIVE.


It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.

So remember...If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Me-

Me-

Look at me, I dont care
You’ll see what you want to
But before you put me on that godforsaken pedestal
Hear me:

I’m a nineteen year old trainwreck
In class all day
Work all night
Theres not much time for myself

I dont let anyone in

I’m an ex fiance
A lover
The date
An ex girlfriend

But I still go to bed alone

My head is buzzing with the words I never say
Notebooks litter the floor
Wadded up dreams lay at the bottom of a waste basket
I’ve lost who I am

Still want to be me?

Lonely
Scared
Self centered
Emotionally deprived

I just want to feel alive again

Published author
Good student
Never shows up late for work
Helps everyone

Lonely in a sea of people

New dreams
New hopes
Are fragile
And break without a moment’s notice

Thats what has happened to me.

Close Call

Close Call

A bit of whiskey
And my tongue is loose
Slipped right off the hinges
Trembling fingers pick up the phone

A soft ring hums in my ears
Or is it just the buzzing from the shots
I panic: Why am I doing this?
I know its not right

But I continue to wait
wait for the voice of judgement
I know who it is from the moment he breathes
Its what I have been waiting for

what do I say
what do I do
what is going to happen
What am I doing?

After his words it went blurry
My words were slurred
Did i just say I love you again?
Did i just say I want you more?

how much of this will i remember
I dont know
I dont care
I have him on the line

Liquid courage is all i need
But will it last
will it wipe my memory clean
There is a click

hes is gone
I’ve lost him yet again
i curl naked in a ball
clutching the phone close

it was nothing
but a close call
the final call
the curtain call

It is all over now
And I cant remember a word said
Sometimes I wish I could
but i know better.

Welcome

Happy blogging to all!